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Friday, October 28, 2005 ----- thank god it's friday
super busy day. been going all day long. feels like today is never going to end, yet when it does...i'll be disapointed. it's halloween weekend. we should be celebrating, we should be in costume, we should be doing some devilish shit. but, here we are sitting at home...bored. today was destiny's make up bday day. we started with getting their haircuts, then went to chuck e cheese, then to see the movie Dreamer. which by the way was a damn good movie. it was me and 6 kids. destiny's 3 friends, her sister, and reese. it was a nice time actually. i thought for sure that i would go insane with them, but they actually chilled out until it was time to go home. then for awhile they got a little loud, but it was the excitement. destiny's sister is so cute. she asked me all kinds of cute grown up questions. i think she is so smart for being only 4. destiny was the same way though. she was always asking such grown up questions. i don't remember ever feeling like she was a "baby." except when she cried of course, but she still does that. she was always smart for her age. j.j. as well, he was always independent. i guess cause it was me and him against the world. he said to me yesterday that i "used" to be good to him till i met michael. and, i'm like...oh, so basically the past 7 yrs. i've just been the worst mom? and, then he tries to change his story. i'm like, whatever...he's a teen. so, of course it's him against the world these days. i remember those years. now, i'm just trying to get the world on my side. anyway, michael keeps making these dirty comments and suggestive motions at me...i think he's trying to get into my pants. LOL i might, i might not. i kissed him just now, and it was like... butterflies in my tummy. it was 7 yrs ago all over again. it was beautiful. i love when we kiss like that. it doesn't happen very often these days. we do the whole quickie kiss thing, cause the kids think it's gross. but, tonight...they are in the room busy. we snuck a real kiss. it was dreamy. LOL that describes it to a T though. he laughed at me cause my face was all dreamy like. i just stood there afterwards with my head still tilted, looking up at him with stars in my eyes, and my eyes half closed. i wanted more. i wanted it to last forever. i will LOVE him forever. but, now reality has kicked in...and, i keep hearing reese scream, "i'm telling." so, i must go...till the next kiss.
*patty*
me.
Sometimes I'm mad at the world, and I take it out on everyone around me...but for the most part, I'm happy with my life...
But I am a dreamer...I am a MOM, a WIFE, a daughter, an aunt, a sister, a cousin, a grandaughter, a neice, a hardworker, a true friend,
a nag, lazy, mean, bitchy, bossy and hard to deal with, but that's me...
I'm me, no matter what that may be....you can either love me, or hate me...
Did you know that every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back...
I've learned you gotta live your life to it's fullest, cause tomorrow is not promised to us, we gotta take each day and live it like it was our last.
I wanna LOVE my husband like he's never been loved, I wanna be the best mom that I can be to my kids.
I wanna ROCK OUT, WITH MY CROTCH OUT (not literally)...I don't want to have one single regret the day that I die...
I want for people to remember me...
When I grow up, I want to be a photographer...I want to take beautiful pictures of people...it's just my silly dream, don't know if I'll ever get around to doing it....one day Patty, one day...
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