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Wednesday, February 08, 2006 ----- Wow.
so today is my first official unemployed day...i really shouldn't say that cause i'm actually still on disability till feb 16, and if i wanted to make it longer i could easily call my doctor and have him extend it, and blockbuster would have to. but, why prolong the inevitable...i know that i'm not going back, my boss knows that i'm not going back, so why milk the system. i'm not that type of person. now, i sit here thinking, what to do, what to do??? there's only so much to clean, there's only so many shows on tv to watch, which i rarely do these days anyway. i've seen probably every csi episode in the world. i imagine myself with a big huge ass from sitting in front of the tv or computer...and michael hating me for it. i wouldn't do that to him though. he likes my booty just the way it is. so last night was a hard night...no, not like that. i was crying, ALOT. i didn't realize how painful the whole ordeal was going to be. michael felt bad of course, and we went back and forth about how we just want whats best for one another. he said i could go back to work if that makes me happy, and i said i'll stay home cause i know that will make him happy...back and forth for like five min. until he said he was the boss of me, so i had to listen to him...LOL but, i said no...this is what is meant to be. i hit that send button and put in my notice and now it's over and done with. i won't take it back, i won't reconsider...i'll just begin a new chapter in my life. i'm not scared, i have God, and i have michael backing me up all the way. anything is possible as long as God is there. i know that now. i've seen the stuff he can do, and it's pretty amazing. but, i will celebrate in my own way...my freedom from blockbuster, my new chapter that is about to begin, my husband who loves me enough to take care of me and my kids, and the fact that i'm living...life is good.
*patty*
me.
Sometimes I'm mad at the world, and I take it out on everyone around me...but for the most part, I'm happy with my life...
But I am a dreamer...I am a MOM, a WIFE, a daughter, an aunt, a sister, a cousin, a grandaughter, a neice, a hardworker, a true friend,
a nag, lazy, mean, bitchy, bossy and hard to deal with, but that's me...
I'm me, no matter what that may be....you can either love me, or hate me...
Did you know that every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back...
I've learned you gotta live your life to it's fullest, cause tomorrow is not promised to us, we gotta take each day and live it like it was our last.
I wanna LOVE my husband like he's never been loved, I wanna be the best mom that I can be to my kids.
I wanna ROCK OUT, WITH MY CROTCH OUT (not literally)...I don't want to have one single regret the day that I die...
I want for people to remember me...
When I grow up, I want to be a photographer...I want to take beautiful pictures of people...it's just my silly dream, don't know if I'll ever get around to doing it....one day Patty, one day...
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